Second City Network

Browsing the "Words" Category

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5 Events the Suspected Bombers’ Mom Doesn’t Believe Took Place

Tamerlan and Dzhokhar’s mother came forward to offer her own theory on the heartbreaking events in Boston: the senseless tragedy was just “something like a really big play.” That carnage on the street? Benjamin Moore’s shade “Caliente,” perhaps. She says [more]

May 3, 2013 Comedy, Words
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24/7 Parent Street with Parenting Pro Dr. Pamela D.

Parenting Pro Dr. Pamela D. answers your toughest child-rearing questions. Dear Pam, I have a 16-month-old son, and my wife and I are thinking about rescuing a dog. We are conflicted about whether or not we can handle the extra [more]

April 30, 2013 By: Conner O'Malley, Comedy, Words
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Another F*@king Newsflash from the Sorority Psycho

Editor’s Note: Shortly after running this article, we received this response from recently-resigned sorority girl Rebecca Martinson. Not really. But if we had, we imagine this is what she might say to us… Dear Second City Network Asshats, If you [more]

April 29, 2013 By: Nikki Pierce, Words
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Missed Connections From the Apocalypse

              [more]

April 26, 2013 By: Kristina Felske, Comedy, Words
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4 Girls Not Going to Take Your Child to Work Day

Today, daughters (and sons) across America are dressing up in tiny business suits–complete with white Reeboks– to commute with their moms and dads to go to work. And some girls are just gonna take a raincheck. Here’s who is opting [more]

April 25, 2013 By: Liz Lekas Kozak, Comedy, Words
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Suburban Sex Party News

Howdy, howdy! Ken Dorothy here again, bringing you yet another update from that little bastion you folks in the big city all dream of living in — the ‘burbs! It’s easy to be jealous from afar, so move on out [more]

April 23, 2013 By: John Hartman, Comedy, Words
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The Real Historical Season 6 Premiere of Mad Men!

TV shows are important, very important. Are TV shows more important than history? Yes. Everyone knows this. But what if a TV show like Mad Men had more history in it? We’ll never know, because the show doesn’t let history [more]

April 19, 2013 By: Hans Holsen, Words
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“Don’t Be Offended…” A List of Roundabout, Passive-Aggressive Insults

  1. You know it’s funny, but I can never tell if you’re pregnant or not. 2. Think of it this way: every group picture needs someone to stand behind everyone else. 3. Sure, a lot of guys wear bras. [more]

April 18, 2013 By: Eileen Montelione, Comedy, Words
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Dear Justin Bieber: From the Diary of Anne Frank

Dear Justin, I’m hurt. Like, emotionally. While I think it’s super-amazing that you, one of the most cherished young people in history, took time out your busy day to swing by my house, I am writing to you about the [more]

April 17, 2013 By: Liz Lekas Kozak, Words
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Boston, I Love You

I do not consider myself to be a great American. I am not especially patriotic. But I will always be a son of the Great State of Massachusetts. Boston, I love you and I hate that this is why eyes [more]

April 17, 2013 By: TJ Jagodowski, Comedy, Words