Netflix: Really go for it this year and split into 5 companies.

Twitter: Achieve the magic ratio of 1 actual user for every 10 spambots.

LinkedIn: David has requested to add you as a connection on LinkedIn!

Google: Add more features to the spooky ghost town that is Google Plus.

Facebook: No company resolutions, but Nick Hillman of Dover, DE, you need to stop favoriting all of Bethany’s photos. You’re creeping her out.

foursquare: Make money somehow.

tumblr: Make money somehow.

Grooveshark: Make money somehow.

Apple: WE ARE APPLE. YOU ARE APPLE. ALL ARE APPLE. GOOGLE MAPS SUCKS.

Groupon: Sell a groupon that makes everyone believe it’s 2010 again.

Kickstarter: Continue being an enabler to people who probably should have given up a while ago.

Instagram: Maybe just lay low for a while.

-Tim Ryder











