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Parenting Pro Dr. Pamela D. answers your questions about how to raise a child. 

Dear Pam,

My 17-year-old daughter is getting pretty serious with her new boyfriend. She’s a smart girl and I trust her, but I feel like I should talk to her about the values of safe sex. I’m sure it’s the last thing she wants to hear her mom talk about!:) Do you have any tips on creating a dialogue without it being awkward or in embarrassing?


Awkward mom


Dear Awkward Mom,

You only have one more year with your daughter to get in her face before she ABANDONS you for college. Let her know she is not the hot shit she thinks she is and that her tits will sag like yours too one day. First try hitting on her boyfriend when your daughter is using the bathroom. Say stuff like “I am not afraid of anal.” Or maybe one of your tits flops out of your bath robe when your taking photos of them on prom night. Next, when she’s in her bed room with her boyfriend bust in and accuse him of stealing your jewelry or that wicker vase you bought at Pier One. It will drive him away and he won’t knock her up. But don’t expect her to be GRATEFUL. She will say that you hate her and that you’re jealous, because she’s an idiot who  can’t see that all men will just come and leave LIKE HER FATHER DID.

 Hope that Helps,