The (Real) 10 Funniest Cities in America
Editor’s Note: Yesterday, a real estate company called Movoto released a list of what they consider to be The 50 Funniest Cities in America. Chicago, birthplace of The Second City, was #2, while Tyler Perry’s Atlanta topped their list at #1.
We’re not sore losers, per se, but we did make a few adjustments to the list…
Any numbskull with Google can write a list, and I happen to be great at numbering things (It’s under “special skills” on my resume. It’s #1.) So I promptly looked up the words “comedy,” “funny” and “city” and wrote my own list with appropriate criteria.
Here are the (Real) 10 Funniest Cities in America.
1. Rifle, Colorado
Their motto is “embracing our past and shaking hands with our future.” Imagine a city shaking hands with a concept. On top of that, the rest stop off the 70 at milepost 90 is the most “comedian-frequented” rest stop in all of the U.S. So it’s got more funny in its toilet bowl than most cities have in their whole cities.
2. Intercourse, Pennsylvania
A wholesome village of Amish people and Mennonites. Named intercourse. Like the clinical word for boning.
3. Buford, Wyoming
Having only one resident, Buford is the smallest town in America. Also, it’s owned by a Vietnamese man. It’s nestled between Laramie (not funny) and Cheyenne (moderately funny). And it was won at auction by a Vietnamese man. So it’s either hilarious… or part of Vietnam?
4. Brattleboro, Vermont
I once saw a Komondor mop dog in a yard in Brattleboro.
I laughed for days. I couldn’t stop. So I then spent a few days at the respected Brattleboro Retreat, a psychiatric hospital, considered a pioneer in the field of mental health care. All I know is I had a blast and ate some Jell-O, which is undisputedly the funniest food.
5. Accident, Maryland
More conceptions occur here than any other city per capita, per year. Don’t know where you were conceived? Chances are you’re an Accident.
6. Walla Walla, Washington
Walla Walla, Washington is well known for their wine. Say that three times fast. My aunt Bernie who lives there says, “So nice you had to say it twice!” Then she turns on Two and a Half Men. “Not this new bullshit,” Bernie says. “That Ashton Kutcher is no Charlie Sheen.” Aunt Bernie just gets it.
7. Flint, Michigan
There are tons of hilarious cities in Michigan, and if this was a state list, Michigan would be heads above the rest. So what makes Flint stand out? Flint was named the most dangerous city in America, had two “financial emergencies” in 10 years and an unemployment rate of 15.5%. The trifecta. Poverty + Crime + Free time = Stand-Up Comedy Gold.
8. Atlanta, Georgia
Yes, Atlanta made our list, too! Let me throw some names at you: NeNe Leaks. Ryan Seacrest. Hit-Girl. All these comedians are from Atlanta. Different criteria; same conclusion. So you know it’s true, based on science.
9. Colon, Nebraska
Colon boasts a population of 110, a bank, and is named after Colon, Michigan. It’s a city named after a city named after a body part. That’s hilarious.
10. San Diego, California
The 72-year-old mayor oogled boobies like a cartoon wolf, went to “sex camp” and refused to resign for over a month. My insider informant tells me it’s an elaborate hoax perpetrated by Chris Kattan playing an unbelievable caricature of a scandal-prone politician.
Because it can’t be real. It just can’t be.
How Did I Judge the Cities?
It was surprisingly easy to come up with fail-safe criteria.
- Hilarity of City Name
- Funny-Looking Animals
- Amount of Times People Get Kicked in the Nuts Per Capita
- My Aunt Bernie’s Opinion
- Place Comedians Were Born and Immediately Moved Away From
Another Editor’s Note: Hey, Movoto Content Editor David Cross (no, not that David Cross), you should come see a show at The Second City sometime. Let us know if you’re ever in the old #2.
Andel Sudik has performed improv at iO, the Playground and the Annoyance and sketch comedy at Second City on a cruise ship, in theatricals, with the national touring company and on the E.T.C. stage. She is an alumni of Boom Chicago in Amsterdam, currently teaches sketch and improv in Chicago and occasionally writes things while looking out her window at the lake. Follow her on twitter @AndelSudik or check out her website andelsudik.com.